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Top 3 Worst Fast and Furious Cars

Seems like just yesterday this movie franchise burst onto the scene and transformed the import and sport compact world. Watching the first film in the theater in 2001, who would have known it would have grown into what it is today.

As one might expect, there’s been many memorable Fast and Furious cars, good and bad. Some have been much better than others, but who cares about those right? Some of the more recognizable cars have been the hideous ones, yknow… those.

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The Fast and Furious cars that 10 guys in suits somewhere in a meeting room decided was a good idea, which ended up being completely laughable. Because the movies became less about cars, or less about anything fast really, most of the cars on this list are from the early Fast and Furious movies.

RIP Paul Walker

RIP Paul Walker

In honor of the late Paul Walker, and the success of Furious 7 here’s some lighthearted fun with the Top 3 worst Fast and Furious Cars.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

HULK SMASH

fast-and-furious-cars-1-hulk

2005 Volkswagen Touran

 

I don’t know what’s more unbelievable, that Bow Wow actually can live in Japan and study there, or that someone actually looked at this van and thought it might have been a good idea. Aren’t there budgets and focus groups for this kind of thing? What is with the hands?

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I think Hulk is crying here..

 

 

The Hulk theme is misplaced, at best and there’s no underlying motif that explains anything on this monstrosity. The only thing it’s good at is looking goofy, and it’s a big reason why the tuner part of the movie series began to die as the movies went along.

hulk-sad

It has a mohawk.. Nuff said

2 Fast 2 Furious

Pink Ranger

veilside-s2000

3000 dollar body kit? check.. 70 dollar rims? check.

 

Sorry ladies but I am not feeling this piece of shit. I mean you have to be REALLY trying to fuck up a car for this to happen. I don’t think anyone could have ever ruined a Veilside kit, but the pink S2000 from the 2 Fast 2 Furious movie piloted by Suki is just the worst.

I like the hard top bonnet but outside of that, there’s very little this S2000 gets right. The stance has always looked funky to me, and the rim choice is horrible considering they took the time to bolt on fender flares and a Veilside body kit.

I guess they just ran out of money when it came to the rims?

2 Fast 2 Furious

WHAT?

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dat reverse rake tho….

 

Ah yes what could have been for Mitsubishi when this movie came out. With the Lancer Evolution and new Eclipse in the movie, it could have been a marketing coup for the Japanese car manufacturer.

Instead both cars ended up looking like Mitsubishi had lost their fucking minds. The Evolution looked bad and the Eclipse was even worse. Mitsubishi banked on the success of the third generation Eclipse and put more marketing into the Spyder model, which was an absolute failure.

In fact, failing miserably would be a generous way to describe their efforts to revive the Eclipse brand.

Continuing the downward spiral of the second generation Eclipse, the third gen fared no better but this convertible Barney mobile didn’t do Mitsubishi any favors. The front of the vehicle is higher than the rear, because reverse rake is sexy.

The chrome rims look waaay out of place, which is okay because out of place is the theme to this piece of crap. To think that this car could have kept up with any of the three others during the pivotal race around the oil drums is comical.

If I had this car as the only means of my escape from apocalypse, I’d rather run.

The Sparco alcantara seats were the only thing on this car that wasn’t a flaming dumpster fire, and Tyrese behind the wheel only made things worse.

What did you think was the worst car in the Fast and Furious movies? Comment below !

Case Studies – Converting the Ignitor setup on a 90 DSM Turbo to a 91.

A friend of mine recently picked up a 90 Eclipse Turbo for 400 dollars in non running condition. After a few minutes, we determine that the engine lacks spark and after a few tests, we find that the ignitor is completely dead.

As the 90 is the “black sheep” of the DSM family, I elect to rewire his 90 to a 91 ignitor setup to get him back on the road.

the dead unit is on the left, we are converting to the 1991 ignitor on the right

Parts you will need to perform this swap :

x1 1991 Eclipse / Talon / Laser Ignitor plus harness / wiring loom

x1 1991 Eclipse / Talon  / Laser instrument cluster.

Tools : Soldering Iron, Notepad, Solder, Flux.

A look at the new ignitor and flying loom

This conversion is fairly straightforward procedure, and can be installed by any average mechanic.

First, undo your positive terminal on your battery to prevent any accidental electrical problems.

Unplug the 1990 ignitor and coil assembly completely.

Rip out that old piece of crap

Next, strip the loom from your stock ignitor and coil plugs wide open.

Open 'er up

Now we take a look at the small markings on your stock J122 ignitor and compare them to the markings on the pinouts of the J722T Ignitor.

Now we cut and solder the wires in corresponding order :
OC1—>OC1

IB1—>IB1G

IB2—->IB2G

OC2—>OC2

After cutting and resoldering the wires, we have VB, TACH wires left over.

Now, take the white wire from the coil plug on the ECU side, and solder it to the tach wire on the J722T Ignitor Plug. Then, we slice VB ( the black / white wire ) of the J722T Ignitor plug to the Black / White wire on the coil plug ( ECU Side )

Shown is the 1990 Tacho Interface, which isn’t needed now since we have eliminated and rewired it. Since the new ignitor now sends the tachometer signal to the new cluster, we no longer need the white wire, simply tape it up.

With the old ignitor and the tacho interface removed, the 90 fires right up and drives fine. However the tachometer doesn’t work as he needs a 91 instrument cluster to make it all work as it should.

Note : If you cannot source a 91 instrument cluster, you can simply swap the ECU pins 6 and 14 to complete the job.

What’s a StockSpyder

It’s been almost 10 years to the date when I said bye to the car that was once my pride and joy, that gave me a shop, a business, a lifestyle but also broke my heart more than a few times.

So when a friend recently asked me “What’s a StockSpyder”, it brought back memories of my 1999 Spyder, and the many adventures I’ve had in it.

Back in the days.....

400hp, 91 octane, 21 psi, full exhaust and cat. STOCK BOTTOM END

The name is part of the old school DSM chat rooms in California where Ty@Road Race Engineering had the name StockGST for his 1g FWD Eclipse. I always had a place to crash when I drove to LA, not sure where Ty is now, but I hope his family and (three?) kids are doing well.

It seems like a lifetime ago and we were tuning cars with crude piggybacks but it was a great time to be an enthusiast back then.

Back when kids didn’t buy chinese parts to modify their cars, and the names Greddy, Apexi, HKS actually still meant something. Back when EBAY wasn’t the first place you look when shopping for a turbo, and shops were actually shops instead of absolute jokes.

Seems like a lifetime ago, but thanks to Ty and Road Race I had the experience of a lifetime building my “StockSpyder”

 

 

 

 

I will always choose to remember the good times, and good friends in relation to the car and not dwell on the many bad times and backstabbers that went along for the ride.