knock knock sucks

Knock Knock Movie Review – I’d Rather Watch this Movie than Eat Glass

Although eating glass would probably be infinitely more entertaining. Yes, I made the mistake of watching this movie on the premise that my wife actually like Keanu Reeves. After watching it however I can say with certain confidence that there’s really way to really describe how shitty this movie is in the English language. Like many thriller and horror movie wanna-be’s this movie wants you to think that it’s smarter than it really is, and fails miserably. This is my Knock Knock movie review and much like the movie, there’s not much to it.

Keanu Reeves plays a father left home alone whose family is out enjoying the weekend for Father’s Day. His weekend was planned around some sort of work project because he looks to be an architect and smoking a little marijuana when two “young” girls knock on his door and turn his world upside down. Like all movie reviews this one is spoiler filled, although I might be doing you a favor if you haven’t watched this movie already.

These two girls appear on his doorstep, seduce him and then proceed to torture him psychologically and mentally throughout the film. That’s it. There’s no motive, no underlying plot and it runs out of steam rather quickly. What constitutes a screenplay nowadays in Hollywood is really beyond me at this point. Everything about this movie fails miserably, and does it in spectacular fashion.

Keanu Reeves looks like he’s either high on something or dead inside, or a mixture of both throughout the film. It’s never a good sign when the protagonist acts out scenes that make you want to burst out laughing when it’s supposed to be an intense thriller. He’s never had much range and it shows in this trashy movie.

The plot revolves around two supposedly underage girls, who don’t look 15 whatsoever in this movie. I understand the are supposed to look hot and sexy, but when your antagonists clearly look older than 15 your entire premise is shattered. I actually thought the chemistry between the two girls ( Ana De Armas and Lorenza Izzo ) was the ONE thing in this movie that worked. However against the backdrop of this plot, a better choice would have been actors that looked like Ellen Page in Hard Candy.

The premise that two 15 year old girls that look 30 could somehow carry out this elaborate plot, with no clear objectives, and the father of two children somehow can’t tell they are clearly of consenting age is ridiculous. Further there’s no connection or purpose for the antagonists, and the movie ends with little to no resolution. Keanu Reeves is discovered buried neck deep in the ground and his house is trashed. There’s no moral, no resolution, the antagonists get away with… having sex, leaving their fingerprints all over the home and possibly going to jail? What was I supposed to get from this piece of trash movie?

I used to think that director Eli Roth had some interesting ability to portray humanity in the midst of horrific things happening, as in Hostel 1. Instead he’s uncovered himself as just a scam artist with a love for sleazy and cheap parlor tricks. If he’s not fulfilling some sort of twisted torture porn in the Hostel movies, he’s dancing along voyeuristic sexual undertones in this crap movie.

I kept expecting some sort of twist, or something to give the plot some depth. Maybe his wife hired the girls, maybe the girls are exacting revenge, but it wasn’t to be. Knock Knock is stupid, inane and incomprehensible for any true movie goer. It truly has no meaning and no depth, and doesn’t even try.

I wouldn’t recommend this movie to anyone unless you are lonely and need a sleazy, depraved, and raw portrayal of two sluts who have nothing better to do during the weekend.

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